
Surefire Ways To Win An Argument With Your Wife

Dems Shocked, Disappointed To Learn The New Israeli Prime Minister Will Still Be A Jew

In Honor Of Pride Month, Biden Announces He Will Also Sniff Men’s Hair

Child Worker’s Spirits Really Lifted By All The Pride Merch He’s Making For Major Corporations

Op-Ed: We Need To Make Playground Equipment More Dangerous

Dad Who Refused Any Involvement In Purchase Of Cat Now Full-Time Cat Butler

The Pros And Cons Of Going Into Crippling Debt To Acquire A Useless Degree

Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques

Study Finds Link Between Happiness, Not Knowing Who Chrissy Teigen Is

Biden Announces Putin Meeting Was A Success, Hunter Now Has A Job With Russian Pipeline

Tensions Rise As G7 Attendees Accidentally Refer To Justin Trudeau Using Masculine Pronouns

Schools To Get Around CRT Bans By Just Beating White Kids With Sticks

New York Times Forced To Admit Babylon Bee Not Fake News Since Stories Keep Coming True

Trump Announces He Is Building 1,954-Mile Long Trump Hotel Along Southern Border

Biden Gets No Pudding Cup Today As Punishment For Taking A Question


Family Vacation Enjoyable All The Way Out Of Driveway


Congress Passes Law To Recognize Juneteenth, The Day Republicans Freed All The Democrats’ Slaves

Existential Crisis Narrowly Avoided With Timely Burrito

8 Foolproof Ways To Protect Yourself From Being Canceled By An Angry Mob

Nation’s Teenage Boys Suddenly Much Less Interested In Finding Victoria’s Secret Catalog In The Mail

Biden Humiliates Putin By Besting Him In Ice Cream Eating Contest

Federal Judge Rules That Jewish Baker Must Make ‘Death To Israel’ Cake For Arab Customer

Biden To Begin Drone Striking Any Reporter Who Asks Him A Reasonable Question


With Statues Gone, Pigeons Forced To Poop On Rioters

Five Troubling Signs That Your Baby Might Be A White Supremacist

Biden Announces Putin Meeting Was A Success, Hunter Now Has A Job With Russian Pipeline

9 Careers More Appealing Than Being A Police Officer In 2021

Nation’s Libertarians Renew Push For 365 Federal Holidays A Year

Planned Parenthood Celebrates 104 Years Of Preventing Fatherhood

California Public Schools Ban Teaching Of Critical Thinking

Wright Brothers’ Flying Machine Hailed As Breakthrough In Getting Small Children To Eat


Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics

To Save Time, Olympics Now Just Announcing Gold Medalists In Advance

CNN Airs Report About Fox News Airing Report About CNN Airing Report About Fox News

Controversy As Catholic Church Decides To Deny Communion To Satanic Goat Worshipers

Debate Settled: Experts Confirm GIF Is Pronounced ‘GIF’

Walls Of IRS Building Come Tumbling Down After Ron Paul Marches Around 7 Times Blowing Trumpets

Woman Briefly Identifies As Man To Avoid Long Bathroom Line

NFL Player Announces He Is Gay, Is Switching Over To Soccer

Sesame Street Airs 4-Hour-Long Special Where The Count Counts All 471 Genders

Man On Deathbed Deeply Regrets Not Spending More Time Arguing On Facebook