Lots and Lots of Terrific Stuff From The Babylon Bee

M&Ms Introduces New Trans Character Who Identifies As A Skittle
Murderer Undecided On Whether He’ll Follow New Gun Laws
10 Surefire Ways To Get Out Of Wearing A Mask When Someone Tells You To
Biden Outperforms Nation’s Expectations For First Year By Still Being Alive
Historians Discover Document From 1776 That Removes All Mandates And Restrictions
Entire Medical Establishment Threatened By Comedian Who Gets High And Talks About MMA And Aliens
San Francisco Walgreens Introduces New Frequent Looter Rewards Punch Card
Government Issues New, More Accurate COVID Tests That Are Just A Coin You Flip
School Sends Separate Email To Parents Every Time A Kid Sneezes
Infographic: How To Spot A Libertarian
San Francisco Store Clerk Confused As Shopper Actually Tries To Pay For Merchandise
‘Not On My Watch’: DeSantis Signs Executive Order That Green M&M Must Still Be Sexy In Florida
Biden Says Russia Can Invade Ukraine So Long As They Avoid Hunter’s Gas Company
9 Offensive Candies That Need To Get Woke Immediately
‘The Misinformation Is Coming From Inside The Building,’ Whispers Terrified CNN Misinformation Team Member
Strategic, Skill-Based Board Game Becomes Stupid Game Of Random Chance Following Loss

The Celebrity Dating Game with AOC!

10 Things You Could Have Purchased With Your College Money
Ukraine Invites Kyle Rittenhouse To Guard Their Border
Biden Administration Mounts Daring Mission To Evacuate Hunter’s Remaining Cash From Ukraine
Psaki Recommends Ukrainians Just Take A Kickboxing Class And Have A Margarita
In Landmark Case, Judge Rules Man Can Be Held Responsible For Wrongs Committed In Wife’s Dream
‘Doctor Who’ Ratings Saved As The Doctor Regenerates Into Dr. Jordan Peterson
8 Important Life Lessons Your Child Will Learn In Their Public School
Biden Considers Starting World War III To Distract From Domestic Failures
Man Wears Mask Into Walmart, Not Because Of COVID But Because It’s Walmart
Biden Puts 8,000 Troops On Alert In Case Peter Doocy Retaliates
DoorDash Introduces New ‘Wife Mode’ Where It Will Recommend All Her Favorite Restaurants For Her To Reject
Report: Terrible Schools Most Likely To Resist School Choice
Clever: This Remodeling Contractor Is Also A Divorce Lawyer
Exclusive: The Babylon Bee Has Obtained Biden’s List Of Possible SCOTUS Nominees
Dinklage Tries To Cancel ‘Snow White’ But Comes Up Short
McConnell Says Senate Should Not Confirm New Supreme Court Nominee Just Three Years Before Presidential Election
With Train Robberies, No Electricity, No Gasoline Automobiles, California Tries Rebranding With Vintage Old West Theme
Boy Told He Can’t Have Ice Cream Until He Eats All Of His McDonald’s
‘Why Do Good Things Happen At All?’ Asks Atheist Struggling With His Faith
Amy Schneider’s Winning Streak Ended After Being Asked To Name The Gender That Has Two X Chromosomes
Polite Canadian Truck Drivers Ask Evil, Tyrannical Government To ‘Please Restore Our Freedoms If You Don’t Mind, Eh’
Dems Threaten To Ban Site Selling Innocent “Joe You Know I Won” Mugs
New Minnie Mouse Pantsuit Design Includes Baton For Beating Uyghur Prisoners
Biden Reminds Everyone That Black Justices Can Be Just As Smart As Rich Ones
The Joy of Painting with Hunter Biden
Biden Commits To Picking A Diversity Hire For SCOTUS Since That Worked So Well With His VP
Report: Strong Spike In Google Searches For ‘Who Is Neil Young’
Biden Seen Looking At Paint Color Swatches To Choose Next Supreme Court Justice
Trudeau Claims Truckers Only Hate Him Because He’s Black
Biden Promises To Replace Retiring Quarterback Tom Brady With A Woman Of Color
Joe Biden Beats Out Brussels Sprouts For America’s Least Favorite Vegetable
Cast Of ‘The View’ Threatens To Quit If Rogan Isn’t Removed From Spotify
Buttigieg Celebrates Death Of Racist Pittsburgh Bridge
Democrats Clarify They’re Only Pro-Choice About Killing Kids, Not About Where They Attend School
Top 8 Reasons To Stock Up On Ammo RIGHT NOW
Socialists Condemn Workers Of The World For Uniting
Health Experts Warn Of Thousands Of Joe Rogan-Style Uncensored Conversations Increasingly Happening Between Everyday People
Trudeau Tests Positive For Fascism
White House Cat Already Tired Of Being Blamed For All These Accidents On Oval Office Carpet
Trudeau Dons Blackface To Escape Capital Undetected
Biden Asks Federal Reserve To Just Print Him More Approval Points
Trudeau Demands Truckers Get Vaccinated Like He Did So They Don’t Catch COVID Like He Did
While Watching ‘The View’ In Hell, Hitler Surprised To Learn Holocaust Wasn’t About Race
Southern Man In Critical Condition After Being Served Unsweetened Tea
Facebook Replaces All Text Fields With Dropdown Menu Of Approved Things You Can Say
Man Who Hasn’t Attended Live Meeting In Two Years Loses All Ability To Mask Facial Expressions When Idiots Are Speaking
Groundhog Refuses To Emerge To See Shadow Until Rogan Banned
Biden Frantically Looking For 8,000 Troops To Deploy To Ukraine That Don’t Have Myocarditis
To Ensure No Sex Scandals, CNN Replaces All Anchors With Mike Pence
‘The Generation After Mine Is The Worst,’ Says Every Generation In Human History
Man Waits ‘Til DoorDash Driver Well Out Of Sight Before Emerging Into Sunlight To Retrieve Food
Whoopi Goldberg Says Order 66 ‘Wasn’t About The Jedi’
Mayor Garcetti Institutes ‘Hold-Your-Breath’ Mandate In Los Angeles
Washington Commanders Unveil New Mascot ‘General Custer’
Oh No! Biden Promises To End Cancer Just Like He Shut Down COVID And Now We All Have Cancer
Biden Calls 877-CASH-NOW To Solve $30 Trillion National Debt Crisis
Confused Migrant Sneaks Across Rio Grande Instead Of Taking Free Government Flight To U.S.
Supreme Court To Rule On Affirmative Action Quickly Before New Affirmative Action Justice Gets There
Facebook Stock Plunges After Zuckerberg Removes Human Skin Suit During Zoom Call With Shareholders
CNN Employees Now Required To Wear Chastity Belts
9 Signs You’re Watching Too Much CNN
9 Signs You’re Watching Too Much Fox News
GoFundMe Freezes Funds For Child’s Heart Surgery After Finding Out He Supports Trucker Protest
15 Fun Communist-Themed Olympic Events At Beijing This Year
Joe Rogan Agrees To Only Spread CDC-Approved Misinformation
To Improve Trustworthiness Of The Hosts, ‘The View’ To Replace Whoopi Goldberg With Alex Jones
Here Are 10 Famous Songs Spotify Is Removing For Misinformation
Trudeau Orders All Geese Rounded Up And Shot For Honking In Solidarity With Truckers
Media Spreads Misinformation On Joe Rogan To Prevent Him From Spreading Misinformation
Bigoted Pairs Figure Skating Event Suggests There Are Only 2 Genders

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