Ya gotta love the Babylon Bee…
Police are part of a system of oppression that is very systemic and oppressive. It’s true– our rich white sociology professor told us so. Some politicians are calling for us to “reimagine policing,” but we think that’s not far enough! It’s time to imagine a world with no police!
Here are 7 reasons the world would be better without police.
1. There would be more doughnuts available for the rest of us – We’re sick of showing up at the doughnut shop to find the police already came in and took all the best ones. Oppression at its finest.
2. Vigilante justice is way more fun – At least, according to the movies, it is. Why call the police when you can form your own posse and hunt down the evildoers yourself?
3. With speed limits not enforced, you can finally test the limits of your 2013 Honda Odyssey – Always wanted to see what this puppy could do!
4. There would be much more liberation of TVs from Walmart – Think about it: there are thousands of TVs, tennis shoes, and top-shelf liquor being held in captivity all across the nation. It’s time to liberate these high-priced goods from their shelves!
5. Unlimited loitering outside 7-Eleven – You can stand out there for hours and no one will bother you. Heaven on earth!
6. You can yell in the library now – Not only that, but you can check out unlimited books and never bring them back with complete impunity.
7. All problems in the black community will go away – Everything wrong in the inner city is the cops’ fault. If the cops go, everything will be solved. It’s just that simple!