You tax me so much my paycheck bleeds
Supporting a government whose people have needs
So many ways you tear into my pockets
Demanding payment like incoming rockets.
“Stop your complaining, Mr. Taxpayer, sir,
We’re giving you all a break.
Think of all the things we do not tax,
Your life is a piece of cake…like
“We could tax the length of your hair, the air that you breathe, the length of your stare,
We could tax the leaves on your trees, the sunshine above, every time you say please,
We could tax the tread of your shoes, your body fat index, when you get the blues,
We could tax your wanton desires, how you watch baseball, how you light fires,
We could tax the hair on your beard, the language you use, whenever you feel fear,
We could tax the brim of your hat, the food that you waste, the meows of your cat,
We could tax the snot in your nose, if you smell flowers, when the wind blows,
We could tax the dance in your step, how loud is your laughter, and if you’re too hep.
“Yes we could lay into you like never before
But in our beneficence, we don’t charge any more.
To pay to defend you from yourself and others,
To carve out your safety like devoted mothers.
“It never occurs to you how expensive it may be
To fund a war of magnanimity.
With so many programs we know that you need
We cure your disease like leeches and bleed.
“So we could tax the smiles that you make, the toenails you clip, the leaves that you rake,
We could tax your flowers that bloom, the blunders you make, the noise in your room,
We could tax the juices you squeeze, the sweat off your brow, the birds and the bees,
We could tax the words that you read, your walks in the park and every good deed.
So no more complaining or it may just get worse
Our financial dog leash is becoming a noose.
Then you’ll long for the days like we have today
Where at least you keep some of your pay.